Identify the 18 worst traits, early.
Based on posts by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
Dating can be a thrilling adventure, full of exciting possibilities. But it’s important to be aware of potential red flags that might signal a less-than-ideal partner. While everyone has their quirks, some behaviors can be toxic and detrimental to a healthy relationship.
You may have a great sexual chemistry, but partnership is a bonding of your souls. To that end, finding emotional intimacy is a bigger challenge than sexual intimacy.
Relationships are hard enough without choosing a partner who adds unnecessary drama and toxicity. It’s good to have standards and protect your own peace!
18 Types Of Women Who Make Terrible Partners
By Emma MillsLet’s break down some of the types of women who are likely to create more headaches than happiness in the long run.
1. The woman who plays the victim in every situation.
Nothing is ever her fault. She constantly blames her problems on bad luck, other people, or circumstances outside her control. This lack of accountability makes growth and healthy conflict resolution impossible in a relationship, Esther Perel points out.
2. The woman who refuses to compromise.
Relationships take compromise, but she’s a “my way or the highway” kind of person. Her needs and desires always come first, and if you don’t bend over backwards to accommodate them, you’re labeled selfish or uncaring.
3. The chronically jealous and insecure woman.
Some jealousy is normal, but she takes it to an extreme. She constantly needs reassurance, accuses you of being interested in others, checks your phone, and tries to isolate you from friends. A relationship built on distrust and possessiveness instead of mutual respect is doomed.
4. The woman who can’t be alone.
She rushes from one relationship to the next and hates being single. This often stems from insecurity and an inability to be alone with her own thoughts. These relationships tend to be intense, codependent, and lack healthy boundaries.
5. The emotionally manipulative woman.
She’s a master at using guilt trips, tears, or withholding affection to get what she wants. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not manipulation. It’s exhausting trying to navigate her ever-changing emotions to avoid upsetting her.
6. The woman who sees every past relationship as the “crazy ex.”
If a string of exes have all been “crazy,” “unreasonable,” or “total narcissists,” it’s likely not them – it’s her. She refuses to own her role in past relationship breakdowns, which is a recipe for repeating those same patterns with you.
7. The woman who needs to be the center of attention.
She thrives on drama and needs all eyes on her. She might interrupt conversations, make everything about herself, or even stir up conflict just to get a reaction. It’s impossible to feel like an equal partner with someone this self-absorbed.
8. The woman who refuses to apologize or admit when she’s wrong.
Mistakes happen, but she takes any admission of fault as a sign of weakness. She’ll twist situations to paint herself as the victim, even when clearly in the wrong. Relationships can’t grow without two people taking responsibility for their actions.
9. The woman who gossips and speaks badly about others.
If she gossips about others, she’ll likely gossip about you when you’re not around. She can’t be trusted, and creates a toxic atmosphere where you never feel completely safe. Constantly tearing others down is a major sign of insecurity, CNBC notes.
10. The woman who never has anything positive to say.
Some people are naturally more pessimistic, but there’s a difference between that and being chronically negative. If she complains about everything, nitpicks, and rarely seems genuinely happy, it’ll drain your own positivity. Relationships should uplift you, not drag you down.
11. The damsel in distress who always needs rescuing.
At first, it feels good to help someone, but if she’s constantly in some crisis – financial, emotional, etc. – it becomes exhausting. There’s a difference between supporting a partner through tough times and being their primary source of stability. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her own life.
12. The woman who never fully leaves her ex behind.
Maybe they’re still “close friends”, she constantly compares you to him, or she still harbors hopes of getting back together. This guarantees you’ll never feel like the priority, and is incredibly disrespectful of your relationship.
13. The woman with unresolved trauma she refuses to address.
We all carry baggage, but there’s a difference between working on healing and expecting a partner to be your therapist. Untreated trauma often causes unhealthy behaviors, making her difficult to be in a relationship with until she seeks professional help.
14. The woman with wildly different values or long-term goals.
Opposites can attract, but if your core values (about money, family, where you want to live, etc.) are wildly misaligned, it creates constant friction. It’s hard to build a life together with someone headed in an entirely different direction.
15. The woman who’s disrespectful towards you or others.
This includes rude comments, belittling your accomplishments, dismissiveness, or treating service workers or strangers poorly. Disrespect is a sign of low character and will poison the relationship over time.
16. The woman who doesn’t support your goals and ambitions.
Partners should be each other’s cheerleaders. If she’s dismissive of your dreams, makes fun of your hobbies, or becomes jealous of your success, it’s a sign she doesn’t value you as a whole person and resents your growth.
17. The woman who controls your life.
She might dictate who you can hang out with, what you wear, or how you spend your time and money. Relationships are partnerships, not dictatorships. Controlling behavior is a sign of deep insecurity and can easily escalate into abuse.
18. The woman who lies, even about small things.
White lies might seem harmless at first, but if she can’t be honest about little things, how can you trust her with the important stuff? Lying is corrosive to relationships and breeds distrust over time.
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16 Toxic Traits In Men To Watch Out For.
By Sinitta Weston .
Here are some toxic traits in men that you should definitely watch out for. Remember, recognizing these signs early on can save you a lot of heartache down the road.
1. He constantly puts you down.
Whether it’s subtle digs at your appearance, career, or choices, or outright insults, a man who consistently belittles you is not a keeper. He might disguise it as “jokes” or “constructive criticism,” but if it leaves you feeling hurt and insecure, it’s not okay. A healthy relationship should build you up, not tear you down, the Cleveland Clinic notes.
2. He’s overly controlling.
He wants to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing at all times. He might try to isolate you from your friends and family or dictate how you dress and behave. This controlling behavior stems from insecurity and a desire for power, and it’s a major red flag for potential abuse.
3. He lacks empathy and emotional intelligence.
Does he dismiss your feelings or invalidate your experiences? Does he struggle to understand or express his own emotions? A lack of empathy and emotional intelligence can make it difficult to connect on a deeper level and resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
4. He’s always the victim.
No matter what goes wrong, it’s never his fault. He blames other people for his problems, refuses to take responsibility for his actions, and sees himself as a constant victim of circumstance. This self-pitying attitude can be exhausting and make it difficult to have a balanced and supportive relationship.
5. He has a history of disrespecting women.
Pay attention to how he talks about his exes or female friends. Does he speak of them with respect and kindness, or does he demean and belittle them? His past behavior can be a strong indicator of how he’ll treat you in the long run. If he has a history of disrespecting women, it’s unlikely he’ll change for you.
6. He’s overly jealous and possessive.
A little jealousy can be flattering, but excessive jealousy is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. Does he get angry or suspicious when you talk to other men? Does he constantly check your phone or social media? This behavior can be suffocating and lead to controlling and abusive patterns.
7. He has anger management issues.
Does he have a short fuse and lash out easily? Does he break things, yell, or resort to physical violence when angry? Anger management issues are a serious red flag and can escalate into dangerous situations. Don’t make excuses for his behavior or try to “fix” him. Your safety and well-being should always come first.
8. He’s addicted to substances or has compulsive behaviors.
Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or other addictive behaviors, these issues can strain a relationship and create a toxic environment. It’s important to consider whether you’re willing and able to support him through his struggles, or if it’s best to distance yourself for your own well-being.
9. He’s financially irresponsible.
Money matters can be a major source of stress in relationships. If he’s constantly in debt, has no savings, or makes impulsive purchases without considering the consequences, it can create financial instability and resentment. While everyone has different financial habits, it’s important to be with someone who shares your values and priorities when it comes to money.
10. He’s dishonest and manipulative.
As Verywell Mind points out (and you probably already know), trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If he lies, gaslights, or manipulates you to get his way, it’s a major red flag. He might twist your words, deny reality, or make you doubt your own sanity. This kind of emotional manipulation can be damaging and leave you feeling confused and insecure.
11. He doesn’t respect your boundaries.
Healthy relationships require mutual respect for each other’s boundaries. If he ignores your requests, pushes your limits, or makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s a sign that he doesn’t value your autonomy and well-being. Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self and ensuring that your needs are met.
12. He lacks ambition and motivation.
While everyone has different goals and aspirations, it’s important to be with someone who has a sense of purpose and direction in life. If he’s content with mediocrity, lacks ambition, and shows no interest in personal growth, it can be frustrating and demotivating for you. A healthy relationship involves mutual support and encouragement to reach your full potential.
13. He’s emotionally unavailable.
Does he shut down emotionally, avoid intimacy, or struggle to express his feelings? Emotional unavailability can make it difficult to build a deep and meaningful connection. While everyone has different communication styles, it’s important to be with someone who’s willing to open up and share their emotions with you.
14. He’s inconsistent and unreliable.
He cancels plans at the last minute, forgets important dates, and doesn’t follow through on his promises. This inconsistency and unreliability can create a sense of instability and leave you feeling undervalued and unimportant. A reliable partner is someone you can count on to be there for you, both in good times and bad.
15. He doesn’t support your dreams and goals.
A supportive partner should be your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you to pursue your passions and dreams. If he dismisses your ambitions, belittles your achievements, or tries to hold you back, it’s a major red flag. You deserve someone who believes in you and wants to see you succeed.
16. Your gut tells you something’s off.
Sometimes, the most reliable indicator of a toxic relationship is your own intuition. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Trust your gut feeling and listen to the subtle red flags that your conscious mind might be trying to rationalize away. Your intuition is often a powerful tool for protecting yourself and making wise choices.
by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston for PsychLove.